Thursday, April 12, 2012

Introducing Save the Hoes - A Campaign for America's Future! (Wet-n-wavy weave shenans inside...)

As the many noses of NeNe Leakes have no doubt shown us, fuckshit flung about recklessly can only beget more fuckshit (Ashe!) and for that reason, I have opted to come out of my self-imposed Caveman Valentine/Catwoman hibernation status to address the following...

black women, lingerie, weave
While you were sleeping, THIS.
Brethren and sistren, there's no point in arguing about who's to blame for this. Sure, I let Satan take the wheel by allowing the joys of potential booage and the excitement of unlimited Mrs. Winners access overtake my responsibilities as a top documenter of coon antics - but hell, that's what happens when you escape the clutches of Maryland (*shudder - takes shot - shudder again*) and move back to The A.

And yes, Yang Lee and the devilry of Beauty4U2C! could indeed be directly implicated for her clear role in promoting body stocking abuse. And OK, I'll even give you that Krystal's - operating both as a copious food source and almost certainly employer of these Cascade Cuties - could be blamed.

But when this is what we're up again, does it really matter who's fuggin' up?? The important thing fellow crusaders and agents against ratchetry,  is that we join hands, lock arms and hold high the torch against coonage and scalawagery. Or is THIS truly the America you want to leave your children???

*pushes up Malcolm X glasses*

You see, these sisters have been bamboozled. They've been hoodstanked. The White Man would have them think that a yellow wedge espadrille from Ross is The Answer! The White Man would tell them that cavorting around in crotchless body stockings and your Sunday starter pumps is OK. Look at the hair? What would Coretta Scott King and her holy sponge rollers say (don't fake: You saw it too...)?!

We got to ORGANIZE, REVITALIZE and UNIONIZE so we won't BE SURPRIZED when skanks take over! If you're with me today, I want you to reach down into your pocket and come up with a donation - we'll take the money that jingles, but we prefer the kind that folds - and give to my new Save the Hoes campaign.

For just 25 cents a day you can provide some of Atlanta's most desperately ratchet, poorly weaved and generally bad-bodied hoes with:
  • A full-sized pashmina throw or handcrafted shawl
  • A pair of full-coverage, high waisted jeans with expandable "Mom Pouch" 
  • A hot, non-Krystal meal and 30 minutes of vigorous cardio
  • Three intervention sessions with our skilled de-cooning counselors
Look into her eyes
 Shandrialqua ain't about this ratchet life!!!!! 

Please don't delay,

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