Sunday, May 8, 2011

Midget Stripper to Star in Rapper Plies Reality TV Series (With Video, of course...)

My mind's telling me no...

Pole dancers take heed - the revolution's a comin' and it has legs shaped like the letter C!

Don't expect me to shade Bushwick Bill's fraternal twin sister for being two apples tall dear readers - not when THN is but an inch taller than Kid from Kid-n-Play's high top fade at it's most elevated!

But I will definitely offer some awning-style extended shade to Plies for being the cultivator, purveyor and fuckery maestro responsible for bringing us this - and doubtless other assorted negro hijinks - through his highly (snort laugh) anticipated reality TV show "The Real Goonette."

I thought Foxy Brown had copyrighted that title???

According to Plies (whose 1998 curly collared polo shirts have set my eyelashes aflutter...) the term applies to "female hustlers" who are getting it "hard in the paint" (!) with style and grace.

And by style and grace, he means with a dollar on their forehead and buttcheek turned up to heaven!

And that's about where Lil V and her jumbo junk badunk comes in. Press play to see (t)highlights from her hot and heavy evenings at Club Toot It and Boot It making it jiggle for school supplies and explaining how she found it hard to obtain mainstream work while living with achondroplasia dwarfism. Her grown up ass on a toddler body steez has landed her gigs in several music videos - so a reality TV series was sure to follow. All I can say is girl preach - stripper jobs beat customer service anyday!

(WARNING: Not safe for life.)

Florida why do I see your fingerprints ALL OVER THIS?????

I can't knock chocolate mini mama's hustle - don't pretend like I'm the only one who's noticed these "Little People, Big World" types tend to have the double wide, extended cab booty game on permanent lock. Why not turn that econo-sized seatwarmer into a piggy bank???

As for her legs being on permanent cowboy stance? Well you can't have everythang! Hell if you know anything about dwarfism you know the leg sitch is part and parcel with the condish - or didn't you wonder why I always look like I'm squattin...

Quietly (and don't ask how I know this) I think Bridget the Midget has all but tapped the lucrative midget sex toy field. But if Lil V is determined, all I can say is swang one of those parentheses lookin' jawns up on that pole and get it how you live boo!

PS: I generally don't listen to Plies and will hold off on getting into why he has a reality TV series in another installation. I'll be needing a double dose of Benadryl and a shot of praise jaysus to sleep tonight as it is...


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