Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Today in Race Embarrassment: 2 Live Crew Front Man Uncle Luke Running For Mayor

Uncle Luke for mayor! Ass shots for all!

“I’m not no career politician and I ain’t gonna act like no career politician”

This absolutely cannot happen in America.

Uncle Luke – yes, the curly-collar polo shirt wearing former front man of ‘80s ass music vendors 2 Live Crew - is running for Mayor of Miami and, according to this report, he’s “As serious as he wants to be.”

Pardon me while I drop thee fuck dead.

I’d seen this a while back dear readers, but I was far too busy getting my updo tightened and my talons slathered in OPI’s To God Be The Glory (a fetching shade of opalescent white) in preparation for the rapture of love to pay attention to any gap-toothed political ambitions, such as they aren’t. We all know what happened when jaysus got high and forgot to teleport all of us believers to The Upper Room last week, so we won't get salty about THAT shazzamery all again. *side eye to the sky*

Anyway, when I saw the video of this my mind was changed. In the spirit of metropolitan transit authorities across the country, I felt motivated to speak out. If you see something, say something game proper!


He wants all meetings recorded eh? Mmmmhmm, that’s a trap. Be warned council members - you all go on camera if you wanna. Someone will pour a bottle of champagne over your head and run a dusty ATM card between your cheeks about four minutes in – THEN sell it at a flea market in Little Haiti.

And that’s just not what jaysus had in mind children.

This, people, is coonetry done right. Martin Luther The Kang did not die in vain!

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