Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Coon Tunes: 300 lb. Man vs. Beyonce Run The World Choreography (chile stop playing and come watch this video!)

300 lbs + Beyonce Run The World video choreography = Damn life.

This is the type of shat that happens when you don't have a prayin' grandmother.

I blame Beyonce for every last bit of this.

Oh, and malfunctioning Gold N Hot flat irons - because that withered bob has my uterus in FULL TILT.

I was just in the midst of being completely unproductive when The Twitter informed me that a ratchet queen was somewhere in Birmingham shaking and jiggling it for jaysus to Beyonce's Run The World.

Against my better judgment, I clicked and was instantly taken to the bridge by the sensuous body rolls of the one I will henceforth refer to as Creole Jumbo.

After I broke free from the instant hypnosis triggered by his undulating manbreasts (Rick Ross, you have been dethroned boo. You might as well put a tube top on and pay it.) I was able to really get into what was happening, in particular, the unsolved mystery of those giblets jangling in Ms. Jumbo's ladypurse region.

We won't get into why this was filmed at Guantanamo. I haven't the time nor the investigative resources.

Body rolls at 2:53. Frantic riverdance stomping at 3:09. Death of 5,000 in 57.0 magnitude earth quake anticipated in 10 minutes.

This can't be life.

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