Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Arresting officers: YouTube is NOT a circumcision guide...

Black woman arrested following YouTube tutorial botched circumcision attempt (CTRL-ALT-DEL life...)

black woman botches circumcision, black woman arrested, Keemonta Peterson
You mad? Yeah, YOU MAD!

If you've been paying attention to life then you know that behind Wikipedia, YouTube tutorials are THEE go-to reference for getting all of your important life lessons - you know, how to recreate a Beyonce Video Phone lip or learn how to drive a car or deliver a baby.

Hell, I was scheduled to use YouTube to perform an emergency vocal chord removal on Rihanna just last week, before I fug around and dropped my best butter knife behind the stove! (THIS LIFE!!!!)

Well word on the skreet is that you apparently want to go ahead and pass on the circumcision YouTube-torials. Mmmhmm - something about man-meat not being amenable to being snipped with safety scissors and a dab of Icy Hot (to dull the pain). Who knew!

From The Grio via AP:

An Oregon mother who tried to circumcise her newborn at home was sentenced to five years probation.
Keemonta Peterson, 29, said she was inspired by the Old Testament and made the attempt with a box cutter last October, sending her three-month-old to the hospital.

Ahhh, the ol "Inspired by The Old Testament" defense - the same thing that got Bishop Eddie Long(john Silver) off! I'm gonna try that out when I go to traffic court this fall, very "I was inspired to not mount my front vehicle tags by the tenets of the Old Testament. Do something bitches!" Then I shall hop on the table and declare that I bind the District of Coonumbia. I predict a WIN!


Peterson decided to do the surgery herself after watching YouTube videos because she believed he was too old to be circumcised by doctors, according to Oregon Live. She called 911 when the baby began bleeding uncontrollably and was in intense pain.

And this is what I like to call, "The Turn" (Trademark THN!), AKA, the moment at which the shat went to that mythical place we like to call, The Left. You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, rely on YouTube for any type of surgery that relates to genitalia. That is DEFINITELY a job for WikiSurgery.

Everybody knows that.

Perhaps the more troubling question:

What happened in Taral Hicks life that has her turning to involuntary gender re-assignment surgery??? Guess that "A Bronx Tale" cheese has run dry!
Taral Hicks, black woman black woman botches circumcision, black woman arrested, Keemonta Peterson
You see it. Don't lie.

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