Sunday, March 27, 2011

In Case You Missed It: The Bobby Brown Comeback is in Full Swing. Blank stare.

ARC Music is taking shit TOO FAR.

Even Bobby looks confused.

I think I need to readjust the proportions on my hookah-Seagrams-Xanax cocktail because shit is really slippin' past me. Apparently while I was on the toilet or something, Bobby Brown sneaked into the studio and made some "music."

*dramatic pause*

While I want to support his return from Snowshoe Mountain (I believe in his newly powder-free nostrils!) I must say that I'm a little confused on this one.

I want to go on record as offering a bag of hope and a Stacy Adams gift certificate to the first person who can explain what exactly this song is about. I listened to it once.

I contemplated.

I listened to it twice.

I contemplated.

Still, I don't know what in hell Bobby's chortling about. Something to do with getting out of his way so he can get to the front of the cocaina line so he can keep rising to the top or something. Uh, yeah.

Meanwhile, his once golden singing voice (such as it never was in any dimension) is currently reminiscent of the type of growly/rattle that last landed the Honda at Meineke.

Aren't these the same stunt queen antics that got him tossed out of New Edition back in '84? I guess you can't blame a dude for trying - it's not like he has other career options and lord knows if his waistline is any indication, he's got to keep his Red Lobster's coins stacked high. Snow crab legs and rice pilaf don't pay for themselves.

Personally, I still think he should just put his Body Magic on and start learning them Chi-Lites steps so he can go on tour with the rest of the middle aged men who should probably have a row of seats right now New Edition.


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