Sunday, March 27, 2011

Remember that dude from the Jacksons miniseries? Yeah, he's currently working as the Crypt Keeper's stunt double

For years I've crying out to the heavens for a part two of my and every red-blooded American negro's favorite TV miniseries, "The Jacksons: An American Dream." (What are you gonna do Joseph , get a switch off a tree? Go to bed Joseph. Go. To. BED!)

There's plenty of fodder - lord knows, the topic of Jermaine's "hair" evolution deserves its own series and possibly a summer course at UCLA - but for reasons unknown, the TV powers that be have decided instead to focus on bringing us such treacle as Real World Season 430: "We're not even gonna pretend this is a show anymore," in which they just toss five horny white people in the back of a tractor trailer with some condoms, a bottle of syrup and a night vision cam.

But you don't hear me though.

Anyhow - if you love the lawd like I love the lawd, you've watched The Jackson miniseries everytime it has ever come on and recognize the above face well.

Now here's what you WON'T recognize:

Got + Damn= THIS.

Yes. This is how 2011 is doing a brutha. I wouldn't get on the other side of that finger - something tells me whatever he points to is going to die. SOON.

This is an ad for the MAC Men line Little Richard has been I've been advocating for if I ever saw it. If there's not a 190 brush and a pot of N43 with this brother's name on it at a Macy's in Ventura then this just ain't America.

After spotting this recent and rare image of Death making a guest appearance - and feeling fairly certain that this man was deep in the throes of ebola or the bubonic plague or something - I went to that font of universal accuracy known as Wikipedia to get the scoop.

Shockingly, there were no references to a deadly disease which might cause one to look like the Grim Reaper's less attractive cousin, but I did happen upon the following sadness:

Jason Michael Weaver (born July 18, 1979) also known by his stage name J-Weav (STOP RIGHT NOW - Luv THN) is an American actor and singer. .... He also appears as an extra in the music video "Rock Yo Hips" by Crime Mob featuring Lil Scrappy and "Make Up Bag" by The-Dream featuring T.I.

The last time I saw Diamond from Crime Mob, she was at Cascade in some leggings and house shoes swinging some highly suspect yaki.

If my coins were in any way attached to that fuckery, I think I'd be lookin' like a wayward Rwandan under the eyes too.

As you were - which if you are J-Weav, looks a lot like this:

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