Tuesday, March 8, 2011

New Ginuwine Video (mmmhmmm, that's what I said...)

*consider my pearls CLUTCHED*

I will temporarily disregard the fact that this man is clearly wearing a wedding suit ... or that these video heaux appear plucked from Lennox Mall ... or that from the looks of this "set" (In Riley voice: Real niggas don't have budgets!) some family in Ft. Washington, Md. was PISSED when they came home from vacation.

I can set all of that aside.

But did this ninja just say “You are my driiiiiiiiiiiink of choice"??????

Did he just say “I take you straaaaaaaaaaight with no chaser”????????

Because I’m about to break the glass on this cyanide pill I keep in my purse, if that is indeed the case.

Look into their eyes -


You know, I’m a firm believer of knowing when to fold ‘em. And when you last were a poster on someone’s dorm room wall in the previous millennium, I would argue that a fold is necessary.

Ok, Ok, let me be fair. I think it’s great that the stars of my pre-period high school years are finding their way back to the spotlight. I mean hayle, nuccas gotta eat and Softsheen Carson “Curl Control!” activator ain’t free. Plus this ninja has like, 40 kids with that hatchet-faced model wife of his, so he has to do something. It was either this or some Bojangles action down at the Jay Street Burroughs station and that’s currently MY plan C, and I DO NOT need a sidekick.

But I'm just saying: Whatever happened to the days when artists would just do the quiet, dignified fade away? They would realize that their time had come and gone, step to the left of the camera, and discretly fade into a life of alcohol abuse and eventual death in their bathtub. KIDDING! But seriously, folks like Teddy Riley and Michael Bivens kept it cute – transitioning into gigs as producers and writers, collecting their cheese and not making purety dingle donkeys of themselves being on the stage at 52 gyrating for jaysus.

Don’t nobody wanna ride your AARP pony boo.

I even heard from my good friend Blue over at bluecentric.com that Dru Hill is trying for a comeback. And that just hurts, you know what I’m saying?

I mean, DAMN, can’t I have my freshman college year memories intact? Nevermind that JLo is still holding on with - you guessed it - a new video! With Pitbull even!

When the Bar Kays make a come back, I'll know I've been changed.

1 comment:

  1. Pwahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Not the AARP pony, though!? And the Ancestors? *dead*