Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I hate you so much right now: Waka Flaka Flame appears naked in PETA campaign

WARNING: Not safe for life.

GET ME MY SMELLING SALTS RIGHT NOW - I can see it's gonna be a looooong year.

To quote our prolific Lady of One Million Facial Ticks, Nicki Minaj, I doth say: Ew.
I mean, bless his heart, but Waka Flocka isn't exactly a Ford Model. And I say that to say that his situation from the neck up was already tenuous at best. Between the hair and the lips and the brow and the whole being as tall as a cell phone tower thing, he has a LOT going on.

But ninjas just HAD to throw in the Spongebob Squarepants hips. Nevermind that I'm simultaneously cramming to understand how that little corner of bling is protecting my eyes from a far more aggregious assault - yet singing "Can you feel it, brand new day!" inside that they are indeed protecting my eyes from said assault.

Meanwhile, am I the only one who feels like this could be an LA Fitness ad? Waka got a body like a tube of toothpaste. How you just not have ANY muscles - even the ones required to walk? Put a coat on!

Think about how many groupies came home, dropped their draws and waited patiently in the bed for THIS to round the corner.


I suppose I could support this young negro scribe for taking a stance against animal abuse – but I make a point not to get mixed up in too much ball queen drama, so instead I’ll just sit in the corner quietly sipping my Shirley Temple and wait for Michael Vick to bust through the door and CAT this ninja for the open shade.

Ink not Mink eh? Expect Gucci to pass on the sentiment AND the campaign.

And the world breaths a collective sigh of relief.

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