Tuesday, February 22, 2011

CNN reports on black women and natural hair "trend" at Bronner Bros. show

Mmmmhmmm. THEM Bronner Bros.

Well it's official - natural hair has arrived! CNN said so! And the Bronner Bros. told them, so you KNOW it's as official as Oprah's thighs. I'm just sayin' what would we do if CNN didn't keep us in the know about the hottest, latest trends? I just read their piece on Kid-n-Play - it's hot shit!

Bronner Bros. show highlights natural hair

Someone keep my epinephrine pen on hand; I feel a few seizures coming on. Consider yourself blessed that I'm sparing you the slide show. The article is set at the Bronner Bros. latest coon-out (be EXTRA glad you were spared THAT) where apparently, naps had a cameo appearance:

... going natural, say several stylists and experts, is making a comeback.
There were education sessions for women who were curious about styling their natural curls in courses titled "Innovative Styling for Natural and Locked Hair" and "The Art of Natural Hair."
Several booths featured organic shampoos and styling tools for customers, many of whom stopped using chemical products after experiencing negative side effects such as hair loss or burns. Bronner Bros. is a family-owned black hair care product empire based in Marietta, Georgia.

This is why I love when CNN gets all "ethnic" with it. You see, to the common observer, it might seem like they're as late as a pair of all-red KSwiss and a Gumby (You rocked it ALL, don't try it). But an esteemed journalist such as myself can see that this is REALLY a very sophisticated news delivery mechanism in which CNN manages to beat the competition by posting the news AFTER it's already been news.

Ahhhhhhhhhh! Catch the elevator - they're on the next level boo!

Last year, young music star Willow Smith, daughter of musician-actor Will Smith and actress Jada Pinkett-Smith, debuted with the colorful, hair-tossing song "Whip My Hair," which encourages young girls to embrace their who they are -- and their manes.

See there. Yet again, they are breaking it all the way down. See, YOUR ignorant ass thought "Whip My Hair" was actually a part of Jada's continued plot for dramatic femmequeen dominance in the gay male ball scene. WRONG! It was an uplifting message about embracing your natural self, jauntily delivered by a 9 year old with a mohawk that tickles the top of her calves (when-I-take-the-pins-out-my-hair-drops-down-to-my-ass game proper). And it's funny because that's her natural hair. Yes. It is.

I loved this article when ______ wrote it back in _____.

I predict CNN will soon be covering the hell out of the breaking trend of rap music and name earrings.

You don't know n'aer news organization....

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