Tuesday, February 15, 2011

James Brown dancin' lessons AKA JB says Fug you Hostile Negress!

Forgive me father for I have sinned!

In my last post - all of about 20 minutes ago - I implied that among his many transgressions (including the blatant abuse of male perm kits, an obvious disregard for abdominal sculpting and an attitude toward plunging male necklines and man cleavage that can only be described as completely immoral) the man couldn't dance.

Indeed, I have until now considered James Brown the master of the shuffle-foot-shazzam, a move any child (or senior citizen) can conjure up when they need to pee OR which any random project dweller has had to perfect in times of a roach blitzreig.

But this video, this piece of visual platinum, has straightened me right the fuck out. *snatches back the curtain*

I am literally speechless. I mean. Did you SEE his pelvis? I mean did YOU SEE IT? That man could deliver a baby easy. Them's baby-deliverin hips.

And that Camelwalk. Between the those spandex-ass pants (I can see the outline of his pubes I swear) his glistening man tits and the shear unmitigated hot dripping sex on a platter that is called The Camelwalk, I stand utterly dumbfounded and corrected.

If I whip out that Camelwalk, draws is comin' AWWWWF ya heard?

I salute thee James Brown. And your hips.

*Softly collapses into fresh snow, as blood pours from my neck and lotus blossoms gently fall onto my slain body.*

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